Coming Out, Part 2
There are several factors that making the coming-out process less harsh. Notice that I didn’t say “easy.” The truth is, it’s very rarely an easy process.
If you have family members who are liberal, you’ll probably have an easier time. Most liberals either accept gays and lesbians or pretend to. Family members might be shocked; they might have known all along. In any event, you’re less likely to be rejected and tossed out on the streets or out of their lives.
Since major metropolitan areas across the globe are known to be more intellectually and socially progressive than rural areas, it is also easier to come out if you live in a large city. Friends and family members will surely have acquaintances, co-workers. and friends (even close friends) who are out, making them more likely to accept you living as an out gay person.
I believe the primary factor in easing the coming-out process, though, is the existence of a support system. Regardless of where you live and the social politics of your family, if you can find just ONE gay or completely accepting friend, ONE gay or completely accepting family member, ONE gay or completely accepting teacher / professor (you KNOW which one, the one that’s cool, hip, and always saying potentially controversial things), you’ll KNOW that you have at least one person in your corner. You’ll have one person to talk to about the particular and specific circumstances that surround YOUR coming-out process. Of course, if you can find more than one of any of these individuals, it’s even easier, mostly because you won’t feel so isolated and alienated.
If you can’t find one person who will support you — one gay friend, colleague, classmate, or neighbor — you’re in for some lonely times until you can relocate — and, you’ll NEED to relocate.
Just remember that you’re not alone, you’re not defective, you’re not doomed to your current life, even though it might feel that way. You just haven’t found home yet. Let strength, patience, perseverance, and the promise of love carry you through the dark and lonely times. How do I know? I’ve been exactly where you are.
