A Working Definition of “Bisexual”
For clarification purposes, I must present a working definition of “bisexual,” which has both functional meaning AND captures the various motivations behind bisexual behavior among individuals.
There are what I consider “true bisexuals,” i.e., those that are sexually and emotionally attracted to EITHER men or women at any given time. In my (limited) experience, these represent the best potential partners for lesbians. They are attracted to men OR women.
There are “bisexual opportunists.” These individuals just want to have sex with as many people as possible, and, by being sexually available to both men and women, it effectively doubles their sexual opportunities.
There are “sport bisexuals,” i.e., individuals who just want to experience what life has to offer, sexually and otherwise. They don’t like labels, don’t like social boxes, and don’t like being told what to do. They are attracted to whom they are attracted to — gender is irrelevant. They are attracted to men AND women.
There are “college bisexuals,” i.e., young men and women who experiment in college just to see what a same-sex relationship is like (short- or long-term). They abandon this practice (for the most part) when they leave university life.
There are “attention bisexuals,” i.e., men and women who claim to be sexually attracted to the same sex just to receive attention.
There are “pathetic bisexuals“”who agree to have sex with men/women just to attract, keep, or please a partner, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife.
See, it’s simply not possible to generalize about the members of these dramatically different groups. So, I will use the term “bisexual” as described below:
FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS BLOG, a bisexual woman voluntarily HAS sex, WANTS to have sex, and / or PLANS to have sex in the future with both men and women. This working definition excludes the “college bisexuals,” “attention bisexuals,” and “pathetic bisexuals” I described earlier.
As lesbians, we need to be able to differentiate between the (1) “true bisexuals” and “sport bisexuals,” both of whom can offer us sustainable relationships and / or satisfying sexual experiences AND the (2) “bisexual opportunists,” who will use us for an indeterminate time before moving on to the next man/woman.
Tomorrow, we’ll begin a discussion about how lesbians interact with these three distinct groups.
