Nasty Old T-Shirt as Lingerie
Dear Dyke Whisperer, My girlfriend wears the same old battered t-shirt to sleep in every night. She says she likes it because it’s over-sized and soft. I’ve wanted to throw it away for more than a year. Should I just toss it?
Cam in Sacramento
Dear Cam,
No, don’t throw it away just yet. First, find a replacement (maybe a tank top) she’ll like and find difficult to resist, e.g., a depiction of a clever phrase or symbol that has meaning to her; her favorite cartoon character; a shirt from her alma mater, etc. You’re trying to establish a sentimental link to the new shirt.
Second, the first time you see her in it at either your place or hers (she’ll feel obligated to wear it), slowly remove the shirt and spend the next two hours (more if you’re up to it or she’s from Texas) selflessly satisfying her every sexual desire.
Third, repeat step #2 the second time she wears the shirt. Tell her you find her absolutely irresistible in that shirt.
She’ll keep wearing the new shirt as long as you keep rewarding her for it. The nasty old shirt will no longer be an issue.
You may have to start working out, and I’d advise you to quit smoking if you smoke.
